Grief and Consolation

2 Samuel 12:18-22

"On the seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they said, “Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spoke to him, and he did not listen to us. How then can we say to him the child is dead? He may do himself some harm.” But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David understood that the child was dead. And David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” They said, “He is dead.” Then David arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. He then went to his own house. And when he asked, they set food before him, and he ate. Then his servants said to him, “What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive; but when the child died, you arose and ate food.” He said, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept, for I said, ‘Who knows whether the Lord will be gracious to me, that the child may live?’ But now he is dead. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.”

Dear Christian, may we learn to grieve and console in a way that is honoring to God. When someone near to us dies, we may react in different ways: anger, sadness, disappointment. The way in which David reacted was in trust. He trusted in what God said, that there is life eternal for those who follow Him. And that those who trust in God, though they may die, will only move on into eternity. This does not mean that we should not be saddened by their leaving. We can feel the sting of a father unable to be at a daughters wedding, or a grandmother not meeting her grandchildren. These things may make us sad, but there is a joy and peace that passes our understanding. The man who struggled with pain and loss of hearing is now in a place of perfection. No more pain. No more growing old. We can be glad that God has lifted this branch up after it's work has been completed. As Christians, our grief is different, because in our grief we have a hope. If our brother or sister in Christ dies, we know that one day we will be reunited with them again. In other times, we are in a place of supporting those who are grieving. In the above passage, David's servants react in horror at the way in which David was mourning. We must always remember that each person is created uniquely by God, and there is no set way in which someone will experience grief. Each of us handles this in different ways. As those who support the mourning heart, we need to understand that the best thing we can do is first pray, second listen, and speak only if led by the Holy Spirit. We are so quick to try to find some word that will wipe away all the pain our brothers and sisters are feeling that we forget that it is the Holy Spirit who is called the comforter, and Jesus is the one who will wipe away all tears. We can be vessels through which they speak or hold, but no sentimental jargon that we say will truly be helpful, and neither will some biblical truth blurted out in an untimely moment. We must discern when it is the right time to speak and when it is better for us to just sit quietly. Above all, we should understand that it is always the right time to pray for the true comforter and peace giver to intervene. The death of a loved one is a trial that will test the faith of those involved, as any tragedy. This test will some times make faith stronger, and sometimes will prove an ingenuine faith resides inside of us, as James explains. We need to pray that our brothers and sisters going through these trials will be refined by the flame and drawn closer to God, as the enemy is fighting desperately for the opposite to happen. Christian, remember that for those who follow Christ, there is eternal life, and upon traversing the waters of death, we enter into the Kingdom of glory and perfection, and there there will be no more tears and no more pain. Keep hope and keep faith.